Haircuts in Lock-down

I’m a bloke, so going to the barber is not a big deal. I make an appointment or walk in off the street, and twenty minutes later I walk out $20 poorer and lighter on top. Simple.

But not if you’re determined to take the Covid lock-down seriously. I looked at hairdressing tools online ten days ago, and decided on a Remington kit for about $70. It was super exciting when it arrived; I had to charge the unit for 24 hours before the show could start. Since I was as shaggy as a long haired dog, I could hardly wait.

My wife Sue put the Remington to work yesterday. It’s a very effective tool and the result was…interesting. I advised on technique and comb size; 4mm up the sides; 7mm over the top; taper near the ears. Trim the neck. How hard can that be? Sue followed my instructions explicitly. Big mistake.

If I get locked up and sent to jail now, they won’t have to give me a prison haircut, they’ll tell me to grow it out. Turns out there are secret techniques known only to barbers. Also, I shouldn’t give advice on things I know nothing about.

Prisoner 4mm7mm signing off.

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